My name is not really important for now. But you can call me Hank Tahelluride. I will have to share with you later why the psyudonym. I was raised by a mother with borderline personality disorder and a father with obsessive compulsive personality disorder. It was as you can only imagine a living hell. I have four siblings two younger and two older. To complicate the situation I had the misfortune to be the family scapegoat. It didn't help that I was an unusually large person and I didn't discover until much later in life that I am also extremely dyslexic. So naturally I was reminded every minute of every day how much I needed to feel ashamed of myself for being so "fat and stupid".
For reasons that I cannot explain I always believed in my heart that I was not what the"family" said I was. Sure I was miserable and I struggled to find a sense of self. However the same things that my abusers said that I should be ashamed of turned out to be my greatest assets. I am planning to write a series of blogs sharing my experiences in dealing with the malignant narcissim of personality disorders and the sickness that accompanies them.
Moreover I want to share the details of recovering and dealing with the aftermath of life in what I call the damage path of the emotional tornado. After I became an adult and emancipated from my family of origin I was far from being okay. I also went through four divorces and have looked at this from every angle imaginable. I now enjoy a successful career and have a good relationship with two of my three children. The fence is currently being mended with the third child.(they're all grown)
I am hoping that writing these blog's will be cathartic for the reader as well as the writer.
Thanks for reading,
Hank
Great post, keep them coming
ReplyDeleteThanks Glenn. I am planning to do just that. I have a great deal to share on the subject.
ReplyDeleteYour blog has been cathartic for the reader, thank you for sharing your experience! I wanted to share something I learned in recent years. I met a gentleman who came to the company I work for. He taught us a set of business principles and some of them I applied to my personal relationships that helped me identify people who are not healthy for me. 1st is a principle grounded in farming, 80/20 and the other principle focuses on Mindset, equipment and training (an analysis). These two principles literally shaped the way I approach new relationships wether personal or professional to identify if I am giving more than I should and if there is a problem in the relationship I now have a tool to decide if it’s an unchangeable trait with the other person OR if they need “training” because maybe they don’t realize the interactions are toxic. One I decide the other person might need “training” I’ll then align my behavior with the outcomes I’d like to see, with patience and without accusation that anyone is “the problem” (obviously after nonstop thinking about it before I decide and execute). Thank you for sharing your blog. It’s the push I needed to move past some obstacles holding me back, myself. You also gave me the push I needed to get back into writing today. Since being hacked even looking at my page name left me so sad that I stopped looking! I let someone take something important from me with the hack, my support system. Healing is not one & done… it lasts a lifetime and just when you think you’ve got it! You understand! And because you understand everything will be ok!
DeleteNot the case, it takes constant reflection to ensure you’re not being sucked into dysfunctional dynamics in all areas of life, work and home. I hope you’re doing GREAT, not just good! Thank you for the inspiration!